Every performer has experienced the bitterness of an unaccomplished goal or a setback as they pursue their dreams. Feeling disappointed comes with the territory of letting oneself strive, so great performers have to have the willingness to experience
disappointment in order to truly maximize their potential. Therefore, knowing how to most effectively respond when that time comes, is an essential performance skill. Here are some things to consider:
Feeling Disappointment With INtention:
Remind yourself that you can tolerate the pain and discomfort of disappointment. It’s a lot like strength and flexibility training!
Allow yourself to be self-compassionate- talk to yourself as if you were responding to a friend who experienced the same disappointment.
Engage in soothing and relaxing strategies, such as mindfulness and intentional breathing exercises.
Thinking About the Disappointment With Intention:
Focusing on thoughts is important to move out of feeling and back into action.
Understanding the factors is a helpful way to know how to move forward toward your next goal.Explain the events that led to the disappointment by reflecting on the following questions:
What were the factors that contributed the disappointing performance?
Were these factors related to things about you (Effort, nervousness, preparation, injury) or things outside of you (weather, referee, more talented opponent)?
Were these factors within your control or no?
Were these factors things that consistently occur, or were these flukes?
Write your answers to these questions and identify what you have learned from this experience. This is key to growth.
Cultivate Optimism With INtention:
Focus on future- what do you want to do next in training, what are your new goals?
What can you feel hopeful or excited about?
What was positive about the performance- even though the outcome wasn’t what you wanted?
What was enjoyable?